021: Lady in the Water (2006)

It's the legacy sequel to a Disney movie that never existed! For May, the boys finally make their maiden voyage into a BAD MOVIE! Who better to tackle for such uncharted territory than the master himself, M. Night Shyamalan! Grab your menifestos and prepare to get WET by one of the most batsh*t films the early 2000's has to offer! 

Transcript

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Welcome everyone to Eyes Wide Watch Club. It is May. We are back. We made it. Uh, we're officially in spring-ish weather. Oh, basically. Oh, yeah, sure. Uh and for this month, I wanted to do something a little different. I wanted to talk about a bad movie. And I chose a bad movie that is very dear to my heart from the master himself, Mr. M. Knight Shyamalan, who I'm sure this will spark a lot of great conversation. Uh so The Lady in the Water from 2006. Uh, this is essentially a a Shyamalan movie that I feel like is not talked about nearly enough compared to a lot of his other work. Uh I remember I was going through all of M. Knight's filmography, and at this point I've basically seen everything he's directed. Uh I remember watching this for the first time and thinking, I I couldn't l believe that this movie is not talked about at all. Uh, because this movie is kind of in a way credited for what solidifies tanking his credibility. Uh arguably this was coming off of the village, but yeah, so I just think this is a that shit insane movie. Uh oddly, I kind of like to watch it because of how fascinating I find it. Uh and yeah, so um I don't know. I have a weird special place in my heart for it, and the when I put it on this rewatch, I remember thinking to myself, oh, I kind of really like watching this movie. And then the plot kicks in, and then I'm once again reminded of how, oh my god, where is the the train wreck that you watch when watching this movie, I think, is unlike any other Shyamalan movie, and I think it's very special. Uh so yeah, um, I'm I'm so excited to get into it. So uh Okay. I'm surprised Dan doesn't like sees it as like he's not like the one that's not talked about much, because I I don't think it's like you know talked about a lot, but I think it's spoken enough because it's where from what I've seen people consider it his first bad movie. I don't know where his first two movies like fall on, like the M Knight ranking, but I have to pull it up myself because I'm like, yeah, this was after the village, right? And I I and it's like yeah, he did six sense. So yeah, Sixth Sense is like a bona fide classic. Yeah. The village is like revered by Cinephiles, and then Signs has like kind of been reclaimed, I think, in a way. I don't know what Signs' contemporary reputation was like, but I know that like people speak well of signs in general. Well, unbreakable too, you forgot unbreakable. That has hitters. Oh, unbreakable, and people like unbreakable, from what I from what I understand. Um I'm an unbre I'm an unbreakable shooter. I'm I'm one of them. Yeah, there are dozens of us. Um and um also notably those four movies were all released by Buena Vista Pictures. Um, I didn't realize this was his first movie without them. Um anyway, so yeah, Warner Brothers did this one. Um so I'm surprised Dan feels that way because I see it as like the opposite, where it's like, okay, he had four at least good movies, right? Some are great, but I at the very least, I would say all four of these are good. So it's like, you know, good movie, good movie, good movie. Oh, you shit the bed. So I think that's why I think people talk about it, Dan, like in the context of what came before it, you know, and again, that's not even counting his first two movies that he did. I guess what is it, Twin with Anger and Wide Awake, which I don't really know about them. Yeah, um But you think you think people do talk about this one? I never hear anyone talk about this. Just in the like in the context of where it exists, right? Um, because it's like, oh, and then you know, he did uh he did the happening and the last airbender after earth, and I don't know much about the happening, but we all know about last airbender and after earth. So it's like four good movies and then what four bad ones, three bad ones, one decent. Just contextually, it's just interesting where it lies. Um yes, now I think it, yeah. So then I'll speaking out, Dan, like you know, you said you watch it, right? I don't know what the fuck happened to this movie. If you ask me what's this movie about, I'll the answer is I don't know. I don't think anyone knows. And it's so fucking funny to me that he says it in Philadelphia, and I'm just like a lot of his movies are just like I looked it up because I'm like, he's from Pennsylvania, right? He was born in Players. In the area, his family relocated to uh Pennsylvania when he was six weeks old, so he he he's from Pennsylvania. So I like how he's just like yeah, shit just happened in Pennsylvania. That's fair enough. A lot of problems from this one. He puts on for his city. No, and I respect that. I was just in Philly over the weekend. I love Philadelphia a lot. Um, but it's just so funny to me how it's just like because I was thinking, I was like, a lot of movies are just set there. Well, would the one he did like last year? Was that set in Philadelphia as well? Or like Pennsylvania? Uh I I wouldn't be surprised, but I was thinking of the trailers and I'm like, it looks like Philadelphia. He just really puts on for a city. Airbender was in Philadelphia. That's what they don't know. Yes, Airbender was Remy Two. Yes, yes. This one's the twist at the end. The twist is they're at a fucking Eagles game the whole time. I don't know. So just like I have a I I'll get to that, but I I didn't like it if you can't tell, because I don't the fuck happens in this movie, and I'll explain why. And I'm gonna I'm honest, I I I you know, I watched um Cosmonauts review of it, and I was reading reviews of it, and a lot of my issues are basically what everyone has issues with, and you know, we'll get to that, but yeah, I I don't know. It's a movie of all time for sure. I couldn't tell you what the fuck the movie's about, Remington. Oh, I know what it was about, I just didn't like it. Uh and I well, alright. What keeps getting alluded to here is that I watched this thing like almost a month ago, and so my mind is like fading a bit on it, and but yeah, I remember not liking it, um, specifically because it felt like very like undercooked, you know, just like things are things are happening, and everyone's just kind of like, oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, all right, I guess I need to move over here now. Like, oh, okay, that's right, that's right, I'll come. Um, and it's not really immersing you. Um, I mean, like, as far as like what happened is that there's this magical prophecy of sorts, right? And they're them water nymphs, they're trying to fulfill the prophecy, right? Which is like you have to prophecy. What is it? Uh I you're he's gonna bring back I just explained to you that it was almost a month ago when I saw this. So what he's gonna he's gonna bring balance to this the force destroy the Sith, not join them. I don't fucking know, Remington. I think it's like they're trying to bring magic back to the world, right? Because it's Philadelphia, yeah, dude. Yeah, it's like humans forgot about magic, and so the water what's supposed to happen is that the water nymphs are supposed to somehow get them to remember what magic is, and the whole thing is a metaphor for us like loving shy on movies, really. Um Philadelphia apartment comic. Yeah, he's like he's he's like, You will you will learn to love my movies and dislike my haters, and they will kill me for this, truth. So that's he hates the movie critics so much that he kills him. Um yeah, I I yeah, so I was not a big fan of this movie, um, despite it having a pretty fun cast, in my opinion. Also, I didn't know this ahead of time. So when the movie finished and I was just like looking at the credits, the way that I did a double take, when I saw Christopher Motherfucking Doyle was the director of photography, I was like, what? I was like, I was like, what? What? That is absolutely stunning. So yes, I will say it is the it is the aside from the awful CGI looking monsters, which is beyond what Christopher Doyle is doing. Um, the actual shots, what was done in camera, did look pretty. Um, and that's what happens when you have a legendary cinematographer on staff. Um, Gene, if you don't know who Christopher Doyle is, he is an Australian man who went into East Asia as a youth and came back a legendary cinematographer who did the cinematography for basically every Wonkar Y movie, like most of them, if not all, I think. And that and if you look at those, look at any like look up in the mood for love right now, like any frame of that movie, and you will be like, this is like this is like god tier artistry in the way that this looks. And that is the man that M Knight hired to do his shitty little metaphor about how everyone's mean to him and how cool he is. So there you go. Before I my my next point, um, so you're saying he he calls Chinese code food because of how Chinese is why he came off. I mean, he does literally have an honorary Chinese name. It's like I think it's like Do Fat or something like that. That he's really good. Yeah, yeah, he but like like he like he's lived, he I think he left Australia at like age 16 and just like started out just as like he's just a working guy. Like he was just like working in various like blue-collar jobs across China, and then it fell into film into filmmaking and became a goaded cinematographer, essentially. Anything can happen in China, right? Um the Chinese dream, yeah. What I don't understand is like at the whole I I get the whole point is like they all hate me, but I'm so great. But again, his last four movies were good. Well, who was hating him? Let me let me set the stage. Let me set the stage. You do that, Daniel. Yeah, please give me the pre-production and why the fuck you wrote. I am I am like I think Shyamalan was the first director. I I don't know why, but I I set myself to say I'm watching every one of these dudes' movies. Uh and I so I'm I don't know, I'm like really familiar with with his whole career, and I kind of and I kinda I love him. Uh but the so yes, so he had the sixth sense, uh, and then it was then it was unbreakable, yes. So like two back-to-back acclaimed hits. Um then um was was the village the next one? Uh the village was 2004. Or no, no, Science. Signs was first, and then Signs was I think Science is a good movie. I don't know how it was acclaimed or how it was received at the time, but probably it's it's not as good as the other ones. But I I I really like Science, I consider that one of his good ones. Um and The Village at the time, some people still claim it. I don't know if I would consider it necessarily a good movie, it's definitely not his worst, but it was a very controversial. I think he got like some mixed responses on The Village when it came out, and that was when he was still like known as he was so young at the time um when he made his first bit. Like this, he was like being set up in the media, like this guy's the new Spielberg. Um, and the the minute he kind of faltered with the village, I mean, this guy had was built up to be like the second coming, and like the minute they were like, Oh, we don't know about this one, it it he kind of panicked. And um, or clearly that's what happened. So that's kind of the whole subtext of of what's going on in in Lady in the Water, that a lot of his response to the to the mixed, not even interesting, not even necessarily bad. I guess that's what happens when like I guess the Sixth Sense is technically his first his his third film. The Sixth Sense was like instant hit, right? And to be that young and have like an instant hit, like that that got nominated to Best Picture. I mean, that movie is canonized in the AFI top 100. That was like one of the few movies from the 90s that actually made it in when they made that uh list. So it's like basically a essentially it's an artifact of the old movie-going culture, you know. So it's sort of like to have that huge of a hit at that age. I guess it makes sense that you would feel like you have like a chip on your shoulder the moment you start getting pushback with some of your later projects and where maybe some of this like conceitedness comes in that we feel when we watch Lady in the Water. Well, he was probably so mature at that time still, because you were being built up in your 20s somethings to basically be the second coming. Um, but anyway, so not with the village. So let's not as well received as I thought it was, so that's I mean, compared to compared to his output these days, some people try to reclaim the village. I think it's okay. Uh but I'm a lot of good things about the village, actually. I'm a village defender as well. I don't tell you. Oh, but I think I also need to determine these things for myself because I am not an M-nite shooter, and there and I think that like in a lot of we can talk about this more, but like there's like in a lot of Cinephile spaces, there are a lot of M-nite shooters. Um, and it's not just like like people our age, like like um, I'm gonna mispronounce this, but like uh here's Du Cinema, which is a highly influential um French uh cinema magazine, like cin uh like like they do like reviews and stuff. Like they were like basically like a true um, they were like a like a major cultural organ during like the French New Wave in like the 50s, the 60s, and the 70s. Um and that's where like a lot of those French New Wave directors, they all got their start as critics working for that magazine, who then like got like studios in France to like take a chance on them based on like the their body of work as critics and be like, look, I know how movies work, so I can go and do this. So think like Jean-Luc Godard um and and folks like that. Um so like they champion a lot of like M Knight's works today, like like decades later. Um, and so it's not just like random nerds on Twitter. There are like real people who are trying to do like a sort of like a a um a retrospective like um reclamation on a lot of his works, seeing as like when we were teenagers, you know, like a lot of people turned on him, right? That he was kind of he kind of gotten written off because of like stinkers like Airbender and After Earth. Um, so um I think knowing that and knowing that the the like mixed relationship I have like with a lot of his movies, I should probably watch The Village for myself and determine whether I like it. I I suspect I would like signs based on what I know about it. Um I don't know a lot about The Village, but I have heard many good things about it. Um same thing with like the Unbreakable and it's like linked films that are that are somewhat interconnected afterwards. Um uh but yeah, I I I I I think that's I think that's just where I need to be. Yeah, we'll we'll get into our relationship. We'll get into our we'll get into our the the broader shyan conversation. I want to I want to focus in on just like this movie in particular. I just chat they're all set in Pennsylvania. Most of them are set in Philadelphia. Yeah. Because shit just happens, shit just happens in Philadelphia so much that the movie after this movie is called Dan, which is the movie after Lady in the Water. Uh what is it? I don't know. The visit the happening, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because shit just happens in Philadelphia. Yeah. Uh no, so anyway. So Oh fuck me. Okay, sorry. Sorry, even Airbender. After Earth. So background for Lady in the Water, the script. Um, so essentially, I and uh you guys might have already read this, but this was based on a fairy tale that he used to tell his daughters when they were young, like when going to bed or something. A fairy tale he made up um or he wrote himself. And so when I watch this movie and there's the whole plot going on, the the best and like the lore and the and the the the the water blue world that we never go to, uh I feel like the the best way I can put this, I was thinking about this after watching it. I feel like this is this movie is like watching the Steven Spielberg movie Hook in a world where Peter Pan never existed, the original story, where he created this lore, and it almost d you get what I mean, where it almost feels like this is a story that feels like it's a it's a reboot of a of a of like an old Disney film that we never that never was made. Do you get what I mean? Where they keep referencing the blue world and there's these nerfs and this wolf and an eagle and bright like it feels like there was a whole Disney movie that happened years ago, and this movie's revisiting it, but that movie never that original thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's how I view it. So the movie opens, and we get this animated sequence of just giving this weird backstory lore of um there was people in a other alien in a in a fantasy water world, and they're trying to get over to the R world, and that's basically you can you no one will doubt you. I've heard so many people talk about this where you will, or the when I've listened to reviews of this movie is you will pause that intro and be like, wait a minute, I think I missed something. Rewind it, play it again, makes less sense now. Like you did you guys immediately I started I started the movie and I was like, oh fuck, that's right. I have no idea what this what this actual plot is, like what this lore is. Did you guys have the same experience watching that? I'm pretty sure I did too, now that I think about it. Right over your head, like, what are we talking about? Yes, because and like how you explained it, how it's like the hook, you know, as if like you're watching Hook and you don't like even watching Hook, you just don't know what Peter Pan is, right? It reminds me of like um like I feel like he wrote this big old like story treatment, like show Bible with like all the lore like it's like what James Cameron does, right? Where he writes all the lore and all the history of the nave and like different tribes, right? Yeah, but uh James Cameron kind of takes the time to like introduce things movie by movie, right? This feels like he did the same thing, M. Night did the same thing, and drops us in the fourth movie. Right. Yeah, just like basically, like, you know what I mean? Like like Lady Episode 4, Lady in the what is it, Blue World, episode four, Lady in the Water. Like Or it's or it's like watching that doesn't bad. Yeah. Or it's or it's like watching that um that reboot of Winnie the Pooh, the Disney live action movie with with Ewan McGregor as like an older Christopher Robin. And you have then you have no idea what the hundred acre woods are, but the original Winnie the Pooh story never existed. Like we're being told about a lore that sounds like it was an old thing, but anyway, so um so that all that all goes right over everyone's head of like what but it's like masquerading as like um like almost like a live action Disney movie from that era. Um the score it it kind of lulls me in in the beginning after that train wreck of an of a of a intro dump that I just have no idea. But we get into this um this cute little apartment complex. The score is really good for this movie by James Newton Howard, who also did the score for Unbreakable, which is famous. Um but yeah, and then it's like, oh, Paul Giamatti, he's like a he's you know, we love Paul Giamatti, he's like a uh superintendent at this apartment complex, and it feels like it's gonna be like this wholesome early 2000s live action kind of Disney movie, you're right. And um, I don't know, I kind of get sucked in in the beginning because it just feels like um like an old classic. And like you were mentioning, Remitton, the way it was shot looks really good. Um, so I just was really um I get really taken in by it and uh so you think you're almost in for in for like a good movie, and um then the then the plot kicks in and so I I have like all these notes, but like it's just so okay, okay. Number one, so there's this lady in the pool that is apparently from a different world. She's a lady in the water, get it right. In the water, which she's frankly not really in the water that much at all in the movie. She sits in a shower looking like she's about to be attacked. Um That's not fair. Every other scene, she is in the shower, Dan. She has to be in that shower, and everyone has to talk to her through the shower curtain or while sitting on the bathroom floor. She has like like Bryce Dallas Howard did not get like all wrinkly and shit. Every take for you to say she was not in that water. She got like a little kiddie pool, just hang out in like a patio. So they like you know what I mean? So Paul Giamatti, he has a stutter, of course. Like it's just it's meant to be this thing, and he he this woman say uh a 20-something year old Bryce Dallas Howard um saves him from the pool and shows up in his in his little cute little cabin that he lives in, this apartment complex, and we'll talk about the apartment complex of it all later. Um, but right away, like aren't you guys like what the fuck is going on here when she's like she gets out of the shower fully nude, and just everything the way that sequence is shot, were you guys like, what is what is going on here? At what moment were you like, what the fuck? Um I don't know if that took me out of it uh necessarily because it's like oh, it's kind of like a fish out of water thing. I guess literally it could be the water nymph. It is literally fish out of water. So it's like so like yeah, but like you've seen this type of thing from movies before where it's like, oh, the mysterious otherworldly girl takes her clothes off sometimes. I wonder why that is. Do we have a male director, perhaps? I don't know. Um, you know, you know, you know, so like that didn't take me out of the movie. It's just like, oh, this is how movies are sometimes, you know. Really? Oh no, shout out Del Toro for doing the opposite. In what is it? The what's his water movie? The shape of water. Yeah, see, his creature is a man. It's literally a fish and it's a man, and it purportedly has a huge dick per that one. So my say my king Del Toro would never justify water movement like that. Never. He would never, he would never. Now, huge men, yes. Did that clock it all? Okay, so we get so there's two instances. There's these. I mean, same with Remington for me, because like it's like it's a trope, right? It's like fish out of water, right? It's like this magical creature appears in a place we're not supposed to be. So it's like, okay, sure. This and Paul Jim Maddie's like he's not like a he's not like a hero. He's just like an a a lot of and M Knight's characters, I will say he writes like your everyman, like a blue-collar, usually just blue-collar Philadelphia people. Um, which you know, cool. He's not writing like action heroes, right? Um so it's like Gilmatt is just your every what is it? He's like the the he's a superintendent. He's a super of the of the the the the company he's he's a man who just has you know magical shit starts happening around him, and he's just kind of like, I don't know, I'm from Philadelphia, I want a cheesesteak. And uh so like yeah, so yeah, to me it wasn't like that's not what that's not what drew me out of the movie because it's kind of like it's it's just it's set up that's like sure, I I've seen this, but there's a trope. Oh, the just everything about the the presentation of it was the two moments. It was the first one where she steps out of the shower and he's and it's just from his perspective, and he's just staring at her and just goes, So her number one, her name's Story, which is like a what's getting. Oh, is it? I forgot that. That's it's not a story. Her name is Story, Remington. Uh it's so on the nose. And uh and then he just looks at her and he's like, Story, can you can you please put something on? And I'm like, okay, this right off the bat, I'm sorry, this this dynamic is creepy. And then he wakes up and she's sitting on his lap, cuddled up to him. And I I'm thinking maybe it's supposed to be like this plate, but the I'm sorry, that the the way that it's presented, it's just all wrong. Like it just comes off. Well, that was the whole point of poor things. That was a different thing, but like it's the way that we're presented this in this sweet, swelling score, this nice looking set, and then it's like Bryce Dallas Howard, like creepily, like cuddling up on Paul Giamatti on the couch. I'm just like, whoa, and she's like still naked, basically. She's not wearing she doesn't wear pants the entire movie. And you don't have a concept of they don't have clothing, Dan. Magical fairies don't have clothing. I don't know. I don't know. This was vital to the plot, Dan, of finding out who was the real Agent Argyle. Okay. If she didn't do that, we were never gonna know who the real Agent Argyle was. Okay. Well, all right, so then so then basically what we I guess I gather from there, we just know that she is, and by the way, when I say me, I mean the entire audience that have that has ever watched this movie. They go, okay, I guess they have to get her back to her world somehow, but there are wolves that will come out of the grass and attack her, but we need to find a writer that will summon an eagle that will not just she can't just jump. Jake her rub from Mount Doom and take her back to the show. She can't just fucking it's so funny because it it feels like it has the this movie has the presentation and the bones of like a like a classic little early 2000s Disney fantasy movie, right? But when you're actually trying to pay attention to the lore, it is it is like impossible. It is somehow I feel like it's an accomplishment of this movie. You can't see a key point. We're missing a key point, Dan. And so I guess I rewatched Cosmonaut's review of it, and he pointed out this movie is the opposite of show, don't tell. Because I guess like he explains it as like, and I guess like a person like that. Yeah, a lot of the movies just kind of like narrated to you by a kind of Asian caricature. Yeah. Well, and you still don't see that whole point. And and you still don't fully like somehow he manages to make it still completely, I don't know what's going on in this. Um well, that's what's funny, because before what we were saying, which is like you were saying, like, oh, it feels like we were dropped into the middle of like someone's 900-page treatment of a wider story that we just don't know about because it doesn't actually exist. And normally when you cut a lot of that out, it makes for more show-not tell, right? Because like instead of like having constant exposition, um, you can just let things breathe and do, and you can kind of show things, but instead it seems to be almost the opposite problem where we cut out too many things that maybe would have helped clarify certain things or made it feel less clunky, and instead you kept a lot of that exposition-y dialogue because it had all of his cool favorite factoids, you know, and it's and that's how you get this muddled mess, you know, in you know, and what we're and what we're doing. Um, it is funny that it's like we have to line up with this giant eagle thing, but if we mess up again, then the eagle will never come again ever. That's why. Well, it's also even if you even if you pick up on the eagle thing, which I just I completely I mean this goes so I mean you have to be it's it's not acceptable that this movie presents like a kids movie as like a Disney kids wholesome movie, and I have to pay attention to this thing like I'm watching The Godfather to figure out what's going on, you know? Like I shouldn't have to be paying attention that hard. Um but yeah, as that we're being introduced to all of these tenants and they all have these weird quirks. The guy that is working out only one side of his body for some reason. Um but anyway, and yes, so the Asian um stereotypes tell him about a story that kind of maps on to what I guess he makes the connection that this is what where Bryce Dallas Howard comes from. Um so he's looking for a writer and which is funny, like everyone in the the the the there's the there's the film critic who right off the bat is a dick from minute one and completely insufferable. Um so we know what we're going with with that. Then uh then there's like the one older woman who's apparently a writer, wrote a book. Um, Jeffrey Wright, I don't know, this apartment complex is just all over the place. And um who was the other one? Uh oh yeah. So then there's like this weird thing where he's fixing again. A lot of this movie is just is just um point the point of view of or we're looking at Paul Giamatti reacting. So he's going down a hallway and he's talking to this one tenant, and he goes, Oh, how's that right? How's that writing going? Like, or how's that book going or something? And then he goes, wait a minute, writing. And I'm like, that wasn't the first guy you went to. You were like this is after he goes around looking for a writer. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? And then he and then he's like in the hall and he goes, as he's walking away, he goes, Well, how's that book going? And he goes, wait a minute. Like he like he puts two and two together. He's right. It's like, wait, you knew that information about him already, and you didn't go to but so then we get the reveal that it's M. Knight Shyamalan himself. Did you guys know that, or did you already look that up that he was in the movie? I knew he was in the movie, but I didn't know what his role was in it. Yeah, same. And I just assume that it would be more comparable to like other times I had seen him in his movies. That entrapped, right, entrapped, right? He's just kind of like the manager or whatever who shows up in one scene, right? And it's a pretty epivotal scene, but it's just the one scene. Or like at knock at the cabin, it's literally just a small blink and you miss it cameo where he's like on the TV and that's it. Um, but it's like uh uh I'm in the movie now, the movie is about me, abruptly. It is, and that's like another thing about it. It's so weird about this whole thing where the movie kind of becomes about his character, and that's where so much of the the structure of all this gets so jumbled, even though this entire movie takes place in this one apartment complex, we never leave it. Um, but somehow, again, the plot is just so all over the place, it's like impossible to keep track of. Um so yeah, so and also I I actually kind of clocked this in this viewing because I didn't realize it. I or I haven't seen the movie in a while, but the woman that's with him is his sister, not his wife. Wait, for who? M Knight's the the woman that M. Knight is with in the movie. I thought it was supposed to be his wife, it's his sister. Um I think I remember them saying that. I I did not clock that at all. Like he's like, and he's like really weird. He's like throwing the laundry out, like fucking with her, and then like he like it it it it it and then he like says something weird to her when they're folding the laundry in that first scene when you see him, and I'm like, are we like meant to believe he's abusing this woman or something? I don't know. It was really weird, and then um do you remember what his what his book was called? No, what is it called? His book was called The Cookbook. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, but this movie is like it's like someone uh I heard I heard someone write this where it was like the movie is kind of like you know, everyone says that oh this was like M. Knight's movie where there's no twist, and it's like no, there's a twist every 15 seconds. It's just that there's a misdirect and then it gets resolved within 10 seconds. So they say like, oh, this is called like my cookbook, and Paul Giamatti's like, oh, he's making a cookbook, and then like in the next scene, he's like, Oh, I can't cook at all. And he's like, Yeah, this is my uh this is just about I swear to god, I wrote down what he says. He goes, This is just you know, thoughts about my my thoughts on problems and culture, and you know, thoughts about leaders. It's like, was this dude right? Like, is this like M. Knight's Manifesto? What is this book? Oh, it might be. It actually might be. He might act, he might have actually written the cookbook, and this is like in his room, in his house somewhere. This is this is M. Knight's confession that he wrote the anarchist cookbook, and this is this is him smuggling it in and him saying, Yes, we we should do we should do terrorism, and this is how you make pipe bombs, and they will kill me for giving you this information. Uh no. There's nothing in the movie indicating that that book is not just all about the Jews. Like that is exactly um actually the cookbook is just the the the elder protocol, the the the protocols of the diary the whole time. I mean that's like I don't know, Henry Ford was right. I I I agree with him on a lot of things. It's actually just the Turner diaries the whole time. It's like the day of the world is coming, you just don't know it yet, Paul Giovanni. F-150. I'm a fan. What can I say? Wait, this is my headcanon now that it's like some like like apocryphal, like abominable political text that's just like we just can't reread it's my it's my thoughts on cultural problems and leaders and stuff is basically what he's saying. Stuff so like just like I'm just I'm picturing as you guys are watching it. So it's like we have this weird lore going on, we have Shyamalan inserting himself into the movie as this author, which we don't know where that's going yet. This author, Dan. Yeah, I was gonna say, not just this, not just any author. Not just any author. We don't know where that's going yet. So we're like, where is this movie? And then um, meanwhile, it's all wrapped around in this whole apartment complex where do you guys know like the backstory where they actually built this apartment complex for the movie? No, so this is a big this is a I know they built it, but I don't know where. So this is a big piece of trivia in the movie that people always the the one thing I have heard referenced the most about this movie is so they built this apartment complex for the movie and the pool. Um, they built it in Philadelphia, yeah. Or I'm sorry, in in Pennsylvania, and in M Knight's contract, he wanted it that it was going to only be no more than a 45 minute drive from his house. Um, and he clocked it and it was 40 41 minutes away. Yes, what a fucking king. He's a king. He's a king. Love that. I love it. He wanted to be home for dinner after every shoot. That's we get this. I was I forgot who did this for a movie, but what is it? The the workaholics guys, when they shot their show, that house they live in in Workaholics, that's their act that was like the actors' actual like house that they live they lived in. Oh, I believe it. So they got paid to live in that house because it was the set. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you have to be paid for location usage. So they were saying how they were like, Yeah, like we were just like in our rooms and we just exit our room, like, all right, I'm at work. And then I forgot uh I forgot who else. There's like a movie I was reading about. Maybe Dan, maybe Dan's maybe you and I are talking about it. Some some other director did the same thing. I was telling you about how um Taylor Sheridan uh behind Yellowstone, yeah. He basically, all of Yellowstone, he's uh like all of Yellowstone, and I assume most of the spin-offs and the new ones that they have going are basically all shot on his massive ranch, his own personal ranch. So not only is Paramount paying him to make the show, shoot the show, like giving him all this money to be the showrunner on basically keeping Paramount Plus alive. He they are also paying him personally on top of renting his ranch. Yeah. To shoot his dog shit Republican shows that I'm addicted to. But so were it cost of the same thing just with the house they were like? I don't remember, I don't think they owned it because it was like an office. Yeah. So that was a big thing that they built this entire complex for the for the shoot. Wait, did you say it was in his contract too? Like they had to. Um I don't know if they had to build it, but he but he demanded it's gonna be in Pennsylvania and it's gonna be uh I know he's it's gonna be close to my house, it's gonna be close to my house, so I can just go back home at night. So I know I don't know that I don't know the inner working details of this, but I know a big public thing about this movie that was or a public, I say like in film circles, was I guess he was supposed to sell this movie to Disney, or this was his plan was to make it. He met with Walt Disney, yes. I read about this. They didn't take it, and he was like low. No, Dan, Dan, Dan. They didn't like understand it or something, and they were still gonna take it. But he got like mad at them because they didn't understand it, and he was just kind of like, Oh, I guess they don't like understand like creativity or some shit. I forgot what it was, but apparently, like I probably they were gonna like take it. Apparently it was like a very public beef that they had at the time. Yeah. Um but but he was just like offended and he's like, I'm gonna go somewhere else, but they were gonna take the movie. But when I watch it, does it not kind of like the tone, does it not feel like a Disney movie? Or like that's what he was trying to do. I think it's like no, so this whole time we so during the movie, after the movie, and the whole time we've been talking about it, I'm just thinking like M Knight, this would have been better as like one and there's just like an animated movie or like a kid's book or like an animated series. Cause like again, like you have all this lore you probably wrote and this treatment, and you can't tell us because you don't have time to in a two-hour movie, which God bless, because this he could have fucking made this shit three hours. Like, I feel like I feel like I feel like he probably did and had to cut it down. Um well he had to prioritize settling his beef with the critics about the village and proving that he is the messiah of writing. But my so like, you know, like you keep saying how like you know, you feel like like a Disney, like, yeah, again, like this, I feel like this would have worked better as like I don't know, like a fantastic Mr. Fox style, like animated movie or like a traditional 2D Disney style movie. You know what I mean? Like, like I just think uh I think the medium, like, like the I don't know, you chose the wrong medium. Like, I think like I don't know, and you could you could you could make it more like kids, like instead of it being like a super, make it like I don't know, some kid who's like a tenant at the apartment, right? And he meets this magical bean in a pool, like it just it works so much better, just shifting the kid's narrative, right? And even making the like the protagonist like a kid, right? Well, it feels like you see what I'm saying here. Well, the reason he's a middle-aged adult is because the movie's about trying to like find the magic within, right? It's about oh, so can I find the magic within? No, because you can't you don't find your inner child when you're a child because you're already a child. It's about being Maybe the kid has like abusive parents who are never home and he's lonely or some shit. I don't know. Oh, but Gene O'Contraire, uh, we do find out that that Paul Giamatti's character, the whole reason that he's a superintendent at this building is that he lost to his parents when he was young. And as you do when you lose your parents young, you become superintendents at random apartment complexes. We all know this. Which is right, every super at every apartment complex. All of them. Which is dropped. I'm gonna go late. Go to any apartment complex where you live and just ask, like, hey, um, can I speak to your super? I need to ask him if his parents were murdered. Well, um And then you're gonna get arrested because they're gonna think you're fucking nuts. I just no, okay. I just wanna I just want to s touch on on what you were just talking about, Gene, how it feels like in my mind, it feels like in in in a different universe, in a proper in a proper world, there would have been an animated movie in the 80s from Disney called Lady in the Water or something like that, where we have like a young Paul Giamatti character gets he's a kid and he gets sucked into the blue world and he meets and he yes and he meets Bryce Dallas Howard, and this is like the 20 year after legacy sequel where now Paul Giamatti is an old man and he meets Bryce Dallas Howard. Again, and he has to rediscover. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, that's where like that's where sorry that M Knight was busy being a teenager in the 80s, much like me. I didn't buy a house in 2010 because I was in high school. Like, like we should be looking at those wolves as like member berries. Like, ooh, look, it's the wolves from the from the movie when we were kids, and like, oh, look, it's the mermaid girl, and now she's just I don't know. It just and then so yeah, anyway. Um, yeah, but um, so then we get uh they gotta like find these people, like there's different characters, there's like a symbologist, a healer, the most confusing shit in the world. I love that most of the movie is just like characters being like, I think this is your job, and then they're like, Oh, wait, it's not your job. I think it's actually this person's job. Oh, nope, it's not their job. Let's try this person, it's their job now. Oh, well, maybe not. G shucks. It's so funny. I don't understand why. Like, so this killed me because I'm like, Did you read single boxes? You must be the reader. Was he like like in the middle of writing this movie, did he like get invited to D by his friends? And he's like, you know what? This is actually a pretty good idea. I gotta I gotta write D D rules for all my characters in this movie I'm writing. Like, it just made no fucking sense to me. Uh well, well, there's two key there's two key batshit insane scenes in in the middle of all this. There's the one um where he needs to find out the rest of the story from the grandmother, and they are sitting on the he's sitting on the couch, and he and the girl is translating for the grandmother, and he's sitting in front of milk and cookies. And the worst accent. Do you remember do you remember this scene? I I just these are like the key scenes that I remember. So she goes, the woman goes, You need to convince her that you're like a child, and she'll be feel comfortable telling you the rest of the story. So he like drinks the milk, and she's literally just staring at him with her arms folded like this. The old woman, like, I need to believe you're a child. And then he like puts drinks the milk, leaves the milk mustache, and then he lays in the fetal position on the couch and like kicks his leg up like a child. It's the most bizarre, it's the most bizarre fucking scene. This implies, Dan. Milk and cookies implies that Santa can also receive the information if he just drinks the milk and cookies in front of the grandma. I don't like the implication that Santa doesn't just already know about the blue world. I think that Santa would be aware of the blue world, maybe, maybe he's keeping it from us as part of the Christmas ritual. If if M Knight would show me the treatment where he clearly expands on this, I would know. Dude, and then it's like a whole chapter, like a whole chapter of like token level detailing explaining the history of Santa and the blue world. So it's it's just the weirdest, it's just the most bizarre scene in the world. It's creepy. Like everything about the the movie is so weird and creepy. Um, and and then there's like the scene where he brings all of the well, first there's I think there's the scene where Paul Giamatti has to get something from underneath the pool. So he dives down like Olympic levels of like holding his breath, and then he goes, there's like all of these items, there's like a whole like portal under the pool, and then like somehow there's like jars with air pockets that he's able to suck through a straw to breathe. Does it do you guys even remember this? It's so like he had to get something. No, did did did she come through the portal? How does she get to the pool? Did he explain that? So the portal is is is in the pool. Yeah. So, but the question is, why can't she just jump back in the pool? That's what I'm saying. And go through the portal. Because I'm sitting there knocking with the portal's there, can't she just go back through the portal? Like, why does the eagle have to take her to Mount Doom? And why how does it-not in the air? How does an eagle fly her? Because water's in the sky, of course, so like she needs to be flown to the water world. Well, she has to be in the tub, too, because she has to be in the water, right? Also, they keep trying to bring her to the pool, but she keeps getting attacked by the wolves. Why don't they just they just can't throw her back into the pool and at least she'll be if she at least like wouldn't she be safe? Like, she'll be safe in the pool, even if she can't get back to the nothing makes sense. Um, this brings up my favorite thing in fantasy that I think about all the time, where it's like just gonna glock. Like you're telling me a fantasy creature can't be put down by a 45 caliber of uh just 45, just just a good old good old American guns. Like you're telling me like like hey, magical bean, me, Smith, and Wesson. And then yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Your name's literally Remington. Listen, Gene, those wolves, their armor class is so high. You can't even die. Mm night M Knight played D D and he's like, You gotta roll. You gotta roll first for initiative before you can shoot the wolf. And then you gotta two, the wolf tears your face off. Then there's the scene where he brings all of the the tenants into the bathroom to look at story, and it's just a half-naked Bryce Dallas Howard sitting under the shower, and it they just are all like gawking at her, and it looks so disturbing. Like everything about that scene is just what the fuck? Like, and it's mostly funny that the movie is like, okay, so I found this like drugged out young woman in the pool, and I've been keeping her in my apartment, and now I must tell all of my neighbors, and my neighbors are like, hmm, yes, this does seem okay, and yes, we will help you do whatever insane ritual that she has now told you about. Yes, I ooh, we're not this role. Okay, shift and we're gonna do musical chairs the whole time, and I guess there are wolves now, and like what are we doing? There is there is one the real world plot of this movie would be the tenants are all like, Hey, we live in Philadelphia. Were you down in Kensington? Like, this might be like a substance, like this, this lady might have like substance abuse issues. Well, yeah, because it's like metatecturally, it's like it's like no one called no one called the city or like the cops or whatever, and they're all just like, actually, we should also do drugs and see what happens. That's like what's actually going on. She's like, I like I have no issues with you, but maybe you're having some kind of like trauma thing because of your past, and this poor lady who has substance abuse problems is also now like brought you into her delusion. We can get you help. Do you you guys ever uh you guys ever see prisoners? Denis Villeneuve uh Denis Villeneuve film. Yeah, never mind, never mind. I love that movie. Oh, yeah, no, I'm just picturing it's like it's like with Paul Dano in the shower and Hugh Jackman just going, tell me where's my daughter? Like it just reminds me of banging the fucking sink. Um anyway. No, I love that movie. I think I think that's like I think that's like Peak Denis, actually. But no, but it's just I just think of when it's like, you know, them in like this weird apartment building in the shower with the girl. Um, but um so yeah, those are like the big standout scenes of just the what the fuck moments. Um and then yeah, and then basically um they throw a party for some reason. I don't know, there's like apes that they have to lean bring out. I don't know why, why I don't know, but they always show up understand why it just goes to my theory in a different universe that'd be a member berry be like, oh look, it's the apes. And and and their whole purpose is to like protect her, but they can't keep her safe from like to get to the pool. I don't I don't understand why. I still don't know why they didn't show up before. There's a reason, I just don't know why. Um don't they like kill the wolf or take it or some shit? I don't remember. Um where are they the other times? Because that's the thing. In the middle of all this, when you're trying to like keep up of what the fuck is going on, um, or what are they trying to accomplish uh with all these different DD jobs? Um, they casually drop that. Um, oh, that's right, Paul Giamatti. Um, his family was murdered, and he used to be a doctor. Do you guys remember that? They dropped that line. He was a medical doctor, but he didn't want to do it anymore after his family was murdered, which funny enough, also is the plot of Unbreakable. Um, so then it like he so then so then he has to so then he resigns back to just being a like uh uh a super the one superintendent for this huge apartment building, which I'm sure is a much less stressful job. Like, I don't know, it'd like um it's just wild. And then we also get this whole like wait a minute, this whole movie's about M. Knight Shyamalan, isn't it? And that he's like they tell him he's the special boy who's gonna accomplish the prophecy, and he's gonna not gonna respect his writing, but he's gonna he's gonna change the world, and they're gonna kill him for it. Yeah, she says something to him. So special, they're gonna kill you for it. Like, I just I just I love the ball. In the framing of the shot, he's like looking into her eyes, like it's just like him and her, and it's just that's all your focus, and it's like you are the most special boy. And he's like, I don't know. There's a line where he literally says in that scene, he goes towards the end, he goes, I don't know. A lot of people aren't gonna like what I have to say in this book. And it's like, dude, what what what like did people just really not like the village? Is that what this all is? Like, is that like you're that hung up on it? It's so the village was was not well received, and he made it everyone's problem. It wasn't even that bad, I don't think. I think it was just like mixed. Um, but they didn't tell him he was the next Spielberg Jesus, so he so he went mental. Um yeah, and uh Yeah, you don't get it, man. He's a visionary, he's changed the world. I dude, I love the balls on this guy. Um so yeah, he he just goes Dancy's division. He just goes, Oh, people aren't gonna like they're not gonna be, and then it's like, well, what? It's like still, are you talking about the Jews? What is this, man? Like, um, and then uh basically that and then wait, Rut Remington, you're muted. The whole the whole can you hear me now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, the whole movie is like that meme that's like, don't make me say it. Don't make me say it, and it's like, you know what? I'm gonna say it. I don't care that you hurt your elbow. That's the whole movie. Um I'm just picturing him like reading the reviews to the fucking village and just like furiously typing his script like in the dark. But it's while the Phantom of the Opera theme plays on the organ. And of course, like the film critic is the one guy to die by the hand of the wolf, and it's just like it's still good, it's still fucking good. So on the nose. The film critic is like the most like unlikable character who's just an asshole the whole time. It's so good. There's there's no subtext. There's no subtext, it's just text. Like it's like it's like fucking um it's like in um in Nobe. What is it when the TMZ guy comes in on the motorcycle and his helmet is like fully reflecting everything back to society, yeah, and he just doesn't listen and gets destroyed. It's the same fucking thing. Right, but that wasn't like a whole crux of the movie, and it wasn't about a director played by Jordan Peel, like Yeah, that's true. And there was a filmmaker in it, but um, yeah. Uh there was a filmmaker in it, yes, you're right. But it wasn't power of film to win. Wasn't this on the nose? It is a great movie. Um let's talk about that instead. But yeah, and then like, and then yeah, that's pretty much it. They realize the whole party scene is kind of like the third act climax, and the wolves show up. Again, everyone in the apartment complex is just like, sure, we'll help you do this. Like, no one they they throw this big party for the new tenant, which all apartment complexes do. They did it for me when I moved in. They had a huge block party, which everyone in the apartment complex attended. Um, by the way. And um, and then like in the middle of that, like you said, Remington, I think you mentioned that where they're like, wait a minute, oh you're not this guy. Actually, this person's the defender, this person's the like they all switch, and like again, just no idea. There's multiple switches throughout this movie. Yeah, no idea what's going on. Um, no, I'm not sure. So it's trying to be this thing that's like um we are not always the person that we think that we are, um, where it it's actually like much more I guess important to like realize your dreams or to make something happen that you like like put that part of the ego aside. Like, I don't fucking know what he's doing, but it's supposed to be something like that, where like, because again, like the whole thing is like um story thinks that Paul Giamatti is the defender, right? That's what that's what she thinks he is, right? Um, and then because she believes it so strongly, he's like, Okay, sure, I guess I must be the defender, but then they're just they finally just have to face it and be like, Oh, I'm not the defender, actually. I'm the healer instead. I yeah, this is this is Remington like trying to thread this knee. Um but there's most of the movie, like I said before, is just them being like, Oh, I guess this is not my job. It's actually this is my job. It might as well just be M Knight Shyamalan, like at the end, like when they when the the eagle picks up story, like and there's like a shot of all of them watching her fly away. Like in M N night, it's him like in one shot. He should have just looked to the camera and been like, fuck you. And then um and then, yeah, like the movie ends just uh I'm here to diss you and then it just ends so abruptly, it's just and that's it. And then that's it, written and directed by flying there, um, instead of going into the pool, she's she uh and then written and directed by M. Knight Shyamalan, baby. And there you go. We talk about how the the the ape things are invisible. Why? Well, the the wolf kind of is like they're camouflaged into the grass, kind of. Sure, but why are the ape things invisible? To save money on CGI budgets? No, the wolf kind of looked the same, I think, though, when he was in the grass. Like he was invisible too, kind of. Oh, I guess I guess are they also camouflaged? Kind of. I know what you're saying, yes. This whole movie has the energy of that crummy uh movie from the 2000s, uh, the Spider Wick Chronicles. Do you remember that? I remember it now that you mention it. Yeah, yeah. Which was an adaptation actually of a moderately successful like uh children's book series. Like yeah, yeah. Uh similar idea of like just being instead instead of like kind of closer to what Gene was saying before, where it's like it's not a middle-aged man, it's a child, but there's these fantasy creatures be showing up at your house, and they're trying to they're trying to get you to do things and get you to like you know, open your heart, open your mind, and so they can get back home and stuff. Meanwhile, there are meaner fantasy creatures that keep showing up and doing things, and you're just trying to be in your house the whole time, you know. Like it's it's you know, I'm just trying to do superintendent stuff and figure out what my job is and uh not think about the fact that my parents died, so I can keep being a superintendent. Um, but then this drugged out girl shows up, but I guess I do need to help her, and Dan just vanished. Oh no. Oh no. Oh shit, shit. Yeah, there he is. Hi Dan. Dan Wait, wait, wait. There's my camera. What am I doing? What happened? Your camera's down. We can hear you, but your camera is down. Yeah, I don't know why. We'll find out why. Hold on, what the hell? Daniel's on the reporting to you live from an undisclosed location. Oh my gosh. Um underground. What happened to my camera? I didn't even move anything. Um Dan tried to get us all to watch a bad movie where he's like, I'm gonna pick a bad movie, then you guys pick a bad movie. Wait, hold on, I'm gonna leave for a second and then I'm gonna come back. Hold on. I don't know, Dan, all that money for that camera, they can't even I'm gonna run through like three things real quick. I like I really like the score. I think the score was fantastic. Uh I really like the look of the movie, which we already talked about. I really like the set design of this movie. I like the apartment complex. And I like I like the way the wolf looks. I like the way that was done. I hate all of the monsters. I liked the way it was done. I don't know if they looked like shittier versions of all the Hellboy monsters from Del Toro's Hellboy, and I hated it so much. That's good. I thought the way in the first, it was like the first attack, it was kind of like this weird slow-mo, but it's like they don't really show it. I don't know, I thought it was effective. Uh, but I know I'm in the minority on that. But um, yeah. Uh so I don't know. I wanna we can we can kind of open this up to like kind of our overall more relationship with Shyamalan, uh, or whatever you guys have thoughts about him. But yeah, so basically, um the village was like, yeah, where his career kind of started to teeter a little bit slightly. Um, and the lady or lady in the water, I keep saying the, it's just lady in the water. This was essentially what tanked his career from there. Uh, where he lost all of that credibility of oh, he's like the next Spielberg. This was like a pretty big catastrophe. Uh at the time, this was Paul Giamatti coming off of his um not Oscar win, but I think he was Oscar nominated for the first time for Sideways, um, which is a huge, like the like the Paul Giamatti performance. Um and then he uh I guess also I didn't know this, but I guess at the time, uh, because Bryce Dallas Howard was also the star in the village, uh Shyamalan was kind of like teeing her up or talking her about her, like, oh, this is like this is like my Emma Stone to my um, you know, uh Yorgos Lanthos like this is like my De Niro to my Scorsese. Like they kind of like, oh, he was kind of building her up to be like, oh, Bryce Dallas Howard's gonna be like my actor. Never worked again with her after this. Um so that was also a fun tidbit. And you blame her, she wanted a career. She was like, I have to find out who the real agent Argyle is. This guy's not going to help me do that. Um, so Sam Raimi, I will be in the third Spider-Man movie. That's exactly what happened. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. But yeah, no, I I just so I want to know, like, so what is your guy's overall? Now I know kind of Remington, you already kind of touched on it, but um, so I have kind of uh so I'll just I'll just say so like I've seen all of M Knight's movies except for like technically his first one or two, which are kind of like director for hire, like his first I would people don't really count those. Um I count his first movie to be basically uh the sixth. I do want to watch his second one because I appreciate a good like you know, going back to like your the your ancestral home, like your family's home, and learning, you know, like yeah, he didn't write it. It was like a very much a director for hire, but yeah, that's technically I have that blind spot, but well, like I appreciate that. So I do want to watch it for that purpose. Um like I said, he was born in India, but he he moved here after six weeks, so it's like he's American. Um So I think I think M. Night Shyamalan um really only has three good movies. Movies uh which are Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense and Signs, which I would say Six Sense and Unbreakable borderline masterpieces. Um, Dan. Well, um I actually so okay, after watching all of his movies, I am a Shyamalan fan. I will say I'm a Shyalan fan of the movie. What's that? You cooked yourself. Yeah. Because I do believe that he only has three good movies, like, but again, two of those good ones, masterpieces. Um I think what I what I love and appreciate about Shyamalan is when I watch a Shyamalan movie, I know I'm watching a Shyamalan movie. It he has still to this day his own style, his own sense of like an artist, like his own voice. He gets a lot of his movies are self-funded these days, I believe, at least nowadays they are. Um and I just have so much respect for like it's just it's original. Like he's and like every swing, most of them do not work. But when I'm sitting there, I don't know what I'm gonna get with a shyan movie. I know what a shyan movie is and looks like, but I just never know where the train is gonna go off the rails. And because of that, I always go see I I love watching his movies. And even when they're failures, they're funny. Dan, this is how they get you. All right, this is the exact same thing that all those weirdos on film Twitter say, and they just suck you in deeper and deeper to the point to where in 2024 you it's like if you say anything even like like remotely contrary, not even like the softest bit of criticism about trap, they will hound your mentions, they will torture you alive, they will like chase you out of the country because trap is apparently the best movie ever, and you can't ever say anything against it. Um, but I did see it play out like multiple times. Um that does exist, Remington. I know what you're talking about. I actually think, see, it's funny. I did think like for what it was, I did like Trap. Um, it's a ridiculous movie. I didn't hate Trap. I thought Trap was a solidly okay movie. It was a good way to spend the Friday night that I saw it. You know what I mean? It was a good popcorn movie, but these motherfuckers have to talk about it like it's the like it's a gift from God, you know, you know what I mean? And we can't say anything against it, you know? The premise is so ridiculous, and everything about it is ridiculous. Um, and even like like something like I'm thinking of his recent work, like Knock at the Cabin. We we mentioned the one episode where I forgot what the ending was to knock at the cabin, and then I remember I was like, oh my god, that but like it again, like I don't know what I'm gonna get. Like, is he gonna monumentally like like what is he doing with this? But it's so interesting. I thought knock at the cabin was like one of his best looking movies in a long time. Um, and yeah, like I don't the only one that I remember when we saw old Gene. That was the one where I was like, Oh, I don't care about this. I hate I hated old old kind of like played all of its hand and was like, let's just do this for two hours. Um I'm just I'm always obviously like I don't defend like a lot of his movies suck, but I'm just like, I I love checking them out to see what he's still doing. Like, I and I think he can make a movie look good, he can make a like he can bring in interesting actors and a cast that are like people are like so. I don't know. I appreciate about I think he's I think he's an interesting personality. Sure. No, and I was I was being I was being a little tongue-in-cheek about it before, but this is what his um this like this is what they say over at Cahir's Do Cinema, and like a lot of his defenders say, like like his merits as an as a filmmaker is that he has a distinct autorial voice, right? And that he um fullheartedly embraces sincerity, right? That his his films, you know, you know, he's famous for his twists, but his films are coming from a sincere place. Um that they mean what they say, they say what they mean, um, and that there's always a degree of like you know feeling on under underneath them. Um, and so and like, and to me, it's like uh I guess that doesn't make them always uh no good, you know, you know, like um do I think that he is worse that is he like the worst director ever? No, of course not. Um Sixth Sense is a good movie. Um, and I I I will I I would defend that. Um do I think that um some of however, do I on the flip side of that, do I think that a lot of the people who are so vociferously defending him these days, do I think that's a bit of an overcorrection from like the um hate that he got in the middle of his career, particularly hate that I do think was in part racially motivated by a lot of people. Um, right? I I we are all old enough to remember the M knight shalama lama ding dong jokes. I'm like, all right, stop, you know, like I hate it. Yeah. Um so But I agree with you with like an overcorrection, yeah. Yeah, I think I do think it's an overcorrection. I don't think that he has the sauce as much as people like to say. Now, similar to you, Dan, yeah, I'm gonna sit down probably if he has another movie um coming out. And that's not just because I see everything, that that's because it's like I think that there is a good popcorn value to a lot of the movies that he's been making these days. And I think that's the kind of the way that he's managed to like inch himself back, where he's kind of doing like this sort of elevated B movie type deal, you know, like like high concept, good time on like a weekend night. You know, you know, you know, you know what I'm saying? Like thrillers from a guy that's not like not like Blumhouse Schlock, like a more elevated version of that. Like that's what split is, that's what old is, that's what glass is, that's what knocking a cabin and trap are. You know, you don't know what you're gonna get. You're going in like this could be like uh an insane train wreck, like knocking the cabin, like and it could start off like interesting, like it's it's almost like how Tarantino builds tension, and you never know what's gonna happen. With Shaman, it's like, is this gonna go off the rails? Probably, but like, how is it gonna go off the rails? Like, yeah, yeah, for sure. Um, so like, and I I just always love that so much more than being like, Well, what's the new Sean Levy IP slop? Like, you know, like I think you and I would agree, like, where it's just like I'd much rather go see what is because it's like every other old white man or tour director is a fucking narcissist psychopath. And M Knight, what I also love about him is he is a motherfucking egotistical narcissist that Heath learned. I I I love that. I the same way I love it in other directors, where like even if maybe some of their uh fruit is a little bit better, but like of their labor, but um, I I kind of love that he is so up his own ass. Like, but in this case, he just he doesn't have the sauce. Like, I don't know, like, or he did at one point. Um, but yeah. I don't know. What about you, Gene? What what do you think? I gotta hope it's homography because I did not watch uh knock at the cabin or the fuck it's called or trap. Um I watched old and I fucking hate I hated it. Um Old was very bad, like like very under, like not even like where does this fall off the wheels? It's just like oh, this was a nothing. Well, so I'm looking, I've never watched Split. I've wanted to because that's one of his more well-received ones, like really well acclaimed, and then people think glass was like a letdown compared to to old uh to split. Um, I have a scorching hot take. Anyway. I haven't watched the visit. I know after Earth and Nestrimander Bads are refused to watch them. Uh but yeah, I've seen his good ones. So like uh same for you, like I mean, same thing. Like, you know, I do appreciate that like you don't like he comes he comes in with like fun, interesting ideas, right? Or adaptations too. He puts his own, like, for lack of a better word, twist on them. Um and and like the sincerity is there, like, and I mean fuck it, he really likes Pennsylvania and Philadelphia, whatever. He shoots for his city. I I I respect it. Man probably loves Joel Umbeat. I I don't know. Um and like you know, you we we can talk shit. None of us ever have ever made a movie. He's made three successful movies. That's yes, that's that that that you know that's not easy, you know, and they're not anonymous. And he didn't get sucked in, like, or I guess I should say he tried the the IP train. Obviously that didn't work, but he goes, he goes, Fuck this on him. It's not for him, and he gets his movies. From what I understand, he gets his movies, like he self-funds his shit now, and he's like, I'm fucking doing this so I can fund my next movie and then do the next movie. Yeah, like the guy. And say what you say what you want, he puts people into theaters, his movies seem tellys make money. People like him. Fuck it, you know, whatever. I can't hate on that. You know, he's a he's a he's a filmmaker's filmmaker, you know. People still want to work with him, like he gives that really interesting role. I I know you didn't see Knock of the Count, but like it's Dave Batista. Put on my Jason hat. Dan, is he the MF Doom of film of movie making? Is he your favorite rapper's favorite rapper? Kind of well, no, but you know, is he your favorite filmmaker's favorite filmmaker? Not at all, but I I um I get what you mean. Dan's like, no, Sean Baker hates M. Knight. Yeah. Uh um one of my one of my scorching hot takes about uh the about Shamalan's whole film. Split and glass? Yeah. I I um obviously I think um Unbreakable is my favorite of his. Uh absolute classic, Bruce Willis, you know, um Sam Jackson Pulp Fiction Reunion, and that score is so memorable. Uh I think Split is like I think Split is his worst movie next to the last airbender. I hate Split. Um and that was the one I remember I saw it in theaters when it came out at the time, and before I even followed movies, it was in like 2016 when I was like a teenager. Um I thought I I hate split with a passion. Um, I think I think um glass is the the finale to the trilogy. Obviously, there's a twist in split um that is kind of the the thing that everyone talks about. The entire movie I think was the most overhyped bullshit I've ever seen in my life. It was advertised as like James McAvoy is gonna play 150 different characters in this guy that has like split person. I think it's James McAvoy, he's overacting the entire time. It's the most showy shit in the world. He only plays like three different characters. It's just it it's so bad. I hate split, it's so bad, but it did it was the breakout role for my queen, Anya Taylor Joy, so I guess I can't knock it for all of that much, but uh not to see Split because I actually love James McAvoy, and that's always been like a big but aside from the fact that it's like this weird trilogy that he sort of made, um like that it's always had like a lot of appeal to me because I love James McAvoy, particularly when he's going psycho mode. Um, so do you know, do you I mean it's not really a I mean you kind of already know it, but do you know like what the what the twist was in Split? Don't tell him don't tell him, No, don't spoil it for me. All right, well it's not like if you kind of know, like, but it at the time of don't tell him No, I'm not saying, but I'm not gonna say it. I know, but it was a huge twist, yeah. It was a like is it like Bruce Willis surprisingly shows up and that's how everyone's like, oh, I guess they're it's trilogy now. Yes, and and that was even a huge thing because um so Unbreakable was Buena Vista and Split was Universal. There's a famous story that when he screened it for Universal, when Bruce Willis shows up at the end, they were like, We don't that wasn't us, like we we can't do that. And an M Knight had already taken care of it in the background. Like he's like, No, no, no, no, it's good. He he like got the clearance because like it's two different movie studios, you know? Yeah, at the very end, they play the music from Unbreakable. Like it's a very the theme from Unbreakable is very famous. Like, I listen to it all the time, and they start playing the music, and it was before like the MCU type of thing. He did it first, and it was like kind of the first like mind-blowing, like, oh fuck, like in the same universe like thing before that was a thing. Oh, that's not true. This came out after Avengers, but whatever. Well, yeah, but it was after Avengers, but it was four years later. It was so like a unexpected, like big thing in the theater at the time. Um but yeah, and then the third movie was was kind of a nothing burger, but I even like I like glass. I thought glass was so much more interesting than Split, but um the one with Samuel L. Jackson, right? Yeah, Samuel L. Jackson's also in Unbreakable, yeah. He's an unbreakable, uh, he is an unbreakable, he he's the he's the antagonist. Split is just James McAvoy's character, yeah. Yeah, Split's like a nice like middle chapter. Uh but uh but yeah, Sam Jackson from this like from like very early, he's very early in Unbreakable as the antagonist. Um we do closing thoughts because I do want to eat before I go to bed because I'm tired. Sorry. Um no, I just I that was you know, I uh I wanted to do a bad movie. Um I pretty much got all my thoughts out. I just wanted to talk about M Knight. Um and uh I just wanted to say I love Jared Harris and I liked that he was like a drugged out uh band guy at the top apartment. I thought those guys were goofy and I had fun with them. Yeah. I I enjoyed watching this movie. I enjoy watching this movie. Um wait, is this a bad, good movie for you or a good bad movie? I don't know. It's a bad movie that I enjoy watching. It's a good bad movie. Yeah. Yeah, I saw you give it five stars on Letterboxd. I was like, oh, is this gonna be like a big argument now? And then I was like, no, you're like, oh, it's basically ironic. Okay. So no, I was trolling. No, you just trolling. You just like M Knight. Like, I I get it. Oh, yeah, go for it. Yeah, I do like no, that was a totally troll. I do like throwing the one of those bombs out there every once in a while. The just a total troll, five stars. Um, but anyway, um, yeah, what do you what do you think, Gina? Anything else? I'm done. I'm pretty much good. This is not for me, dog. Randy Jackson and American Idol table. Again, I just like really think like, I don't know, like as maybe as an animated movie or like a story, like a children's book series. Just I really think like, you know, and and I I I I I admire anyone who is like, hey, I have this whole fantasy idea, right? I mean, like, I I have these ideas of this fantasy world and this whole whatever. Cool. Dog, this was not the medium for it. A live action movie set in Philadelphia. Like, I get and like and like in a lot of ways, that's like the most M night thing you can do, right? Is exactly what he did. But like, I don't know, man. It's just one of my it's just one of my favorite case. Wes Anderson gave us Fantastic What's Yeah, we got Fantastic Mr. Fox. Like, you can you can you can you can you can have fun, you can do something, you know. It's still you we we got I Old Dogs, like it's fine, you can do that. Yeah, and the next thing we got from him coming down the pike is a Nicholas Sparks collaboration, but yeah, so I sa I I didn't realize that the book and the movie are like the so I guess Nicholas Sparks wrote like it's a slightly different. I don't know. I have no idea, yeah. We'll see. And I guess he's doing like a mag he was signed on to do like a magic eight ball TV show or something or a movie. I don't know who the fuck knows. What the fuck does that even mean? I don't know, it's probably never gonna happen. Basically, yeah, but Nicholas Sparks is a bad person. Is he? I don't know shit about him. If I remember right, I might be making this up, but I I I feel like I have this memory that he like secret well, not secretly, but like one of his side ventures besides being a successful romance novelist is that he ran like a school, and that school was just like not good with children. It was like oh all right, what is it? Troubled like the troubled teen stuff that Robert Evans has covered multiple times? No, no, no, no, no. It was like an actual school, but it was it was yeah, it was like it was like very like authoritarian and doctrinaire and and not doing great things with children. Um anti-Lebron James. You hate this. Have you guys have you guys ever seen the notebook? No, no, I don't have a vagina. No, I remember one of my I watched it, I watched it with like uh in high school with like an ex, and I still remember I still remember that movie. There's nothing wrong with a chick flick, okay? That's not what I'm saying. I respect it. I remember watching that movie, and I still think back about it because I remember it pretty vividly, and I I remember thinking to myself, like, I think that movie is like red pill incel bait. Like, Jesus Christ, what a fucking um anyway, I don't hold up, huh? Yeah, no, not at all. Um anyway, um, whose turn is it? Who's next? Who's up? Um you you you forfeited your turn, so it by default it has to be my turn. Um so hey, what? Huh? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Dan said, I'm good, so you go, Gene. And so he forfeited his turn. That's what I was saying. So it has to be my turn. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, no, anyway. Mr. Shamalan, you've come to me with a movie where you know characters are just sort of plotting along, accepting things as they come, uh, with horrendous CGI, uh, with nonsensical plot elements, and uh one that is ultimately meant to validate your own tiny little ego. And for that reason, sharks, I'm out. Two and a half stars out of five. Hell yeah. I did not know that Remington was secretly, what's his name from Marty Supreme the whole time? Kevin O'Leary. Mr. Wonderful. Um, I wasn't channeling a specific shark when I had that bit in mind, but I guess I would if I if I was like doing like a skit, I would be Kevin O'Leary. Um, you would play such a good Kevin O'Leary. Oh fun. Um but no, I think it's biopick now where Remington can play Kevin O'Leary. It's it's um it's Remington, it's Remington's turn for uh for the for the pick, right? For the recommendation. Yeah. What do you got for us, buddy? Alright, so I'm not doing a big long spiel here as we've come to expect, but uh basically the gist here is um we were exploring previously the branches of cinema, right? So I did um so so you know, I did I did a documentary film, right, the last time, uh The Thin Blue Line. Um we we've obviously done a bunch of like conventional narrative films, so logically the next place to go is we will be doing we will be bravely venturing into the world of experimental cinema. Um I spent a long time trying to find a good candidate for experimental cinema, um, because a lot of the most famous examples are more like short films, you know, and I was like, I don't I don't want to do just one short film. I don't know if there's enough for an episode in that, and I don't want to sign like many short films because that's could be like homework, you know. Um so um trying to find a good candidate that was like a like an actual feature-length film was a little difficult. It was like, is this experimental enough? Or in the case I was like, oh, I could do like a because we are we've already done like Jodorowski before, so I couldn't like just fall back on Holy Mountain necessarily. Um, and then I was like, oh, what about like uh a Gaspar Noah joint? And then I saw that Dan's already seen Enter the Void, and I was like, um minute you say experimental, I think Gaspar no way. And I was like, I don't think Gene's if Gene is not familiar with Gaspar No, I don't think he's ready for like irreversible or climax. So no, we don't want to do that. Um, so I was like, what do we want to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to do? And so what I came up with is we are going to be watching uh for my pick for the month of June, we're going to be watching the 1993 film Derek Jarman's Blue. Okay, never heard of it. It's an experimental film. It is uh Jarman was like a celebrated um indie filmmaker in like the 80s and the early 90s. He was openly gay, uh, which was not like you know super common at that time. And he uh he worked a lot, he he like kind of gave Tilda Swinton her start um in a way, like her very early films are all with him. Um and he is known for like really pushing the form um in a way. And so this film Blue is actually his last movie, and it's about his him dying from AIDS, essentially. Um, he it's about the last few um it's Of like about like it's supposed to put you in his mind as like his body is failing, um, his POV, um, as he as he is dying from AIDS. This is like his swan song to his life and his career. Um, so we will be we will be doing that. Um, it is it is it's it's called blue because essentially everything is happening over a solid blue um artifice. So that's the movie that we will be doing, boys. And what have you seen it? No. Okay, okay, cool. I've only seen one other movie than his uh of his, coincidentally, I didn't plan it that way. Um, it was called it's called uh Wittgenstein, uh, which is about the real life philosopher Wittgenstein, um, and also has a similar technique and how it was done. Um, but yeah, no, so I have not seen blue. Um, it's one of the ones that is it's probably one of his more famous films. Um, definitely like a thing that like if you're like it's something you would see in film school, basically. Um that it's it's like that kind of movie. Um when you started to describe the plot. I kind of feel like I may have heard of this before. Yeah, it's real it's relatively um famous, um, not just for him, but also like as like an early Tilda Switten movie, too. Um, so yeah, that's that's that's gonna be my pick. We're gonna be doing Derek Jarman's Blue. It's a little hard to find. There is a version on YouTube. Um if you have Plex at all, there's also uh a version on Plex. Um so you can watch it that way. Cool. And it's short, so yeah. No, I'm excited. I'll probably try to check out some of his other movies too. That sounds really interesting. Um, okay. Cool, all right. Uh well, thank you everyone for for listening. Be sure to subscribe on YouTube and follow on the RSS feed. Um yeah, that's that's all we got for tonight, folks. So um uh where where can the people find you, boys? Gene, where can the people find you? I don't know, don't perceive me. Uh what am I? J38865 on Letterboxd. Is there one in there somewhere? I don't remember. It'll be in the description. Remington, what about you, buddy? Uh you can find me at at Angrier Everyday on X, the everything app. We're living in hell. Yeah, that's where you can find me. You can see me talking about politics and film. Mostly just retweets these days, because I'm lazy and often only half awake. Um you don't want to argue with Russian bots on eugenics and Indians or some shit. That's everything that I live for. Um, and uh you can also find me at RSpore on Letterboxd, where you can see me be a degenerate who watches too many movies every day, um, and occasionally write pithy little comments about it. Um, so there you go. That that's that's me. So cheeky. All right. Uh and you can find me on everything else. All right, bye everyone. I love you. Look to the sky, and you will feel how to live a life that's real, true, and perfect harmony when the spirit is.